Friday, May 11, 2012

Austin Thomas Hills

I don't know how to write this, and it is so very hard for me to do, because once I write it, it will be true.

Our beloved son Austin Thomas Hills went home to be with the Lord on May 2.  He just had his 17th birthday the week before.

Deuteronomy 13:4
It is the Lord your God you must follow and Him you must revere.  Keep His commands and obey Him; serve Him and hold fast to Him.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

We had a memorial service for Austin, it was a beautiful tribute to him.  Tom wrote this and read this to everyone who was there.

I stand before you a broken man, a Father that is crushed.
Yet, I will praise the name of the Lord!

This is God's plan, not mine.
And the hardest thing is that my hands are tied behind my back.
Yet, I will still praise the name of the Lord!

We are still a family of Seven with Five children!
We are not a broken family, just a changed family!
Austin didn't just show up in heaven,
God was waiting for him!
Again, I will praise the name of the Lord.

Austin Thomas Hills, my son, my flesh and bone, I have loved you from the second you were born and I always will.  It hurts me deeply as I realize how much pain you endured each day.  Forgive me for not identifying and helping release your anguish.

Without hesitation, I would sacrifice myself and trade places.
My heart aches to see you, touch you, to hold you, to say that I Love YOU!

All your pain is gone now and you are in perfect peace
with your Heavenly Father.
I can not wait to see you again.
That reunion will be heavenly!

Always thinking of you and with all my love, Dad

Finally I will praise the name of the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.


We feel like we are living in a terrible nightmare, one that I wish we could wake up from. 

I look to God and He is giving us the strength to go on:
Ephesians 3:16
I pray that from His glorius, unlimited resources He will give you mighty inner strength through His Holy Spirit.









We LOVE YOU Austin

37 comments:

MtnGirl said...

Oh, I am so very, very sorry! I will pray for you and your family as you go through this tough time!

Joey said...

I'm very sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family.

barbara said...

God bless you and your family.

Jen said...

Oh, Sally. Oh, no. Your sweet Austin. My heart is breaking for you; there are no words. I am sorry and will keep your family in my prayers.

Amy said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Praying that you and your family can find some peace during this time.

Corinne said...

Oh Sally, I read this twice to make sure I was reading this correctly.SO very very heartbroken for you and your family. There are no words and I will keep you in our prayers as you go through this very very difficult time. My most deepest sympathies to you and your family.

Tracey and Chuck said...

Sally, I too had to read this more than once. My heart is broken for your family. Mplease know you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Jen said...

I have no words. My heart is breaking for you and your family. I know your faith is strong, and I pray God gives you peace to continue on and enjoy a lifetime with the blessings this side of heaven.

Kacey said...

I am whole-heartedly praying for your entire family. May Jesus wrap His warm, loving, calming, gentle arms around each of you.

Jeanette said...

Oh Sally, I am so sorry. I'm in shock reading this. I will be praying for you and your family.

Sarah said...

Dear Sally, My heart is breaking for you. I have read your blog for years. My little girl, Gracie, who looks just like Ava Grace came home from St Pete a few months after Ava came home. My real reason for this post is I lost my oldest child in July of 2006. If you ever want to talk or vent please do not hesitate to email me. Please know you are in my prayers. Just try to breathe, eat and just get through an hour at a time. My email is sarah walker sage @ yahoo. com. Please just take out the spaces. I am praying for you.

Sarah

Barb said...

So very sorry to hear about Austin's death. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this very difficult time. Your husband's words at the memorial were beautiful.

Court said...

My heart hurts for you. Praying for peace for your family.

Candice said...

Oh Sally. My heart is breaking as I type this. I have no words. You and your family are in my prayers.
xo

Melissa said...

Oh my I'm so so sorry to hear this news. My prayers are with you and your family. I'm just heartbroken for you.

Anonymous said...

I had to re-read your post to make sure I was really reading what I thought I was reading. I am so, so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. My heart breaks for your family.

Gloria said...

Oh Sally my heart is broken for you and your whole family. I am so srry for your loss. I am praying for all of you. YOur husband's words to your son were beautiful and I wish there was something I could say that would take away your pain. Thinking about you all and praying for you.

tammy said...

Sally....I don't know you other than in blogland but when I read this post I shed tears. My heart is breaking for you. I, too, had to read your post again to make sure I read it correctly.

The words your husband wrote are so touching. How blessed you are to have a husband who understands our Heavenly Father's love for each of us.

I'm sending you (hugs) your way and we will keep your family in our prayers.

Team Bedzyk said...

Sally, I wish I had the right words to comfort you. I too had to read this twice. I'm so sorry for your loss and your family is in our prayers.

Suzy & Bill said...

I am so sorry to hear about your son. What beautiful words your husband spoke for him. I will pray for God to continue to give all of you His mighty power and strength and peace.

Wendi and Terry said...

I am so sorry for you loss. I'm lifting you and your family up in my prayers. God bless.

Carol A said...

My heart aches for you. Please accept my condolences as my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Remember that we are in Bushnell if you ever need anything when you are down here or if we can do anything for your son that is studying at WIU.
Carol Anderson

Michelle said...

Sally, my heart is just breaking for you! I will say an extra special prayer for Austin tomorrow at mass and will also keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you a huge hug through bloggie land! *HUG*

the7houks said...

Sally, my heart is just broken for you and your family. I have been thinking about you and praying for you all week.
MIchelle Houk

Mama said...

I don't even know what to say. I can't imagine going through what you are going through. We lost a very close nephew at 17 in 2006 and the pain is still very fresh for me. I am aching reading this and I can't really believe it. I had to check and re-check to make sure I was reading the right blog. My heart goes out to you deeply...even though we have never met.

K. Angel said...

My heart aches for your loss! Your family and Austin will be in my prayers. May God give you peace in the coming weeks.

Jen said...

Sally, I wanted to let you know we continue to think of you and your family. If there is anything at all we can do, please let me know.

The Journey to our Daughter said...

Oh, I am so very sorry. I know there are no words but know that I am praying for your family.

dnd82001 said...

I am so so sorry for your loss.....I read & reread this yesterday and my heart aches for you........I am so sorry...........

Darlene

Amy...who wanted 4. said...

SALLY!!!!!!
I just now have come to catch up on your blog.
I don't know what to write, I don't know what to say. Oh my gosh! I will pray for you and your family daily. Oh dear Sally. My heart is so broken for you.
Praying...

Randy, Denise, Camden Denson said...

I am so sorry for your loss. That is an unimagineable thing that no parent wants to go through, i will keep your family in my prayers daily.

Kim Abraham - Mom to the Fabulous Five! said...

Sally, I am on my knees praying for you and your family. When words fail me all I can do is look for scripture. This verse immediately came to mind: "Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted..." Please know that the Lord is close to you and He will never leave you. I am deeply sorry for your loss.

Laura said...

Sally: Words escape the description of the sorrow I feel for you and your family. Just know that even tho' we haven't met in person, we care deeply and pray to God to give you strength and peace during this time.

An angel looks over you,
Laura

Valeriya said...

I am so sorry for your loss. God bless you and your wonderful family.

mbranko24@mac.com said...

Sally, I am so sorry for your loss.

Erin

Cindy said...

I'm new at this blogging....and am going to try this again so please excuse the post if it duplicates. Today a new client came to my office....9 years ago she was a Russian Social Worker for the Orphanages in Moscow. She mentioned your blog....because of our adoptions. I searched immediately after her leaving but not because of the adoptions necessarily but to learn of your loss. We too lost our oldest child Blake at just days after turning 17...on May 2nd 2003. My heart goes out to you as you enter this journey. Blake left in May, we reversed the vasectomy in July, started the adoption in August, met Elaina and Elijah in St Petersburg November, brought them home in December and had our Jackson the following Sept. Our Halie was 12 at the time. I'm wrapping my cyber arms around you....as I understand the gut wrenching cries. From one grief mom to another.....I understand. Again, I'm not sure how a blog works necessarily but maybe you can e mail me just the same. cdivido@aol.com ((Sally))

Elizabeth said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. My son attends MA (he's a sophmore) and last week he attempted suicide because he could no longer endure the daily torment and bullying. Thank you for sharing your blog because it is helpful to parents like me.