Thursday, May 31, 2012

2 Years Home

In the midst of all of our sorrow, there have been rays of sunshine also.  Ava Grace has been home for 2 years now.  I took her to get pictures done.  The dolls are from St. Petersburg, the black and orange ribbon is from Moscow, colors to celebrate their Independence Day and the Red Rose was from Austins best friends...I wanted a little bit of Austin mixed in to let Ava remember him by.

Our life is on a different path now, not one I would have chosen, but then God didn't ask me, and He is the one in charge.  We have been going to counseling and are working our way out of the fog our minds have been in.  Prayers are still welcomed and needed if you happen to think of us.

Ava Grace, 2 Years Home

Thursday, May 17, 2012

God is good all the time

Thank you all so much for your prayers and support.  There is no way we could get thru this time with out our friends and family lifting us up in prayers.  We feel God working in our lives, but it is so very hard to go on.  I received so many wonderful cards but I wanted to share one with you.

The Plan of the Master Weaver

Our lives are but fine weavings
That God and we prepare-
each life becomes a fabric planned
and fashioned in His care.
We many not always see just how
The weavings intertwine,
But we must trust the Master's hand
And follow His design,
For He can view the pattern
Upon the upper side,
While we must look from underneath
And trust in Him to guide...

Sometimes a strand of sorrow
Is added to His plan,
And though it's difficult for us,
We still must understand
That it's He who fills the shuttle,
It's He who knows what's best,
So we must weave in patience
and leave to Him the rest....

Not till the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why-
The dark threads are as needed
In the Weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.

This says it perfectly so that I can try and understand His plan.  We who are left behind have the sorrow, but Austin is with God, perfect and smiling.  Oh the day when I can hold my baby again and tell him how much I Love him.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Austin Thomas Hills

I don't know how to write this, and it is so very hard for me to do, because once I write it, it will be true.

Our beloved son Austin Thomas Hills went home to be with the Lord on May 2.  He just had his 17th birthday the week before.

Deuteronomy 13:4
It is the Lord your God you must follow and Him you must revere.  Keep His commands and obey Him; serve Him and hold fast to Him.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

We had a memorial service for Austin, it was a beautiful tribute to him.  Tom wrote this and read this to everyone who was there.

I stand before you a broken man, a Father that is crushed.
Yet, I will praise the name of the Lord!

This is God's plan, not mine.
And the hardest thing is that my hands are tied behind my back.
Yet, I will still praise the name of the Lord!

We are still a family of Seven with Five children!
We are not a broken family, just a changed family!
Austin didn't just show up in heaven,
God was waiting for him!
Again, I will praise the name of the Lord.

Austin Thomas Hills, my son, my flesh and bone, I have loved you from the second you were born and I always will.  It hurts me deeply as I realize how much pain you endured each day.  Forgive me for not identifying and helping release your anguish.

Without hesitation, I would sacrifice myself and trade places.
My heart aches to see you, touch you, to hold you, to say that I Love YOU!

All your pain is gone now and you are in perfect peace
with your Heavenly Father.
I can not wait to see you again.
That reunion will be heavenly!

Always thinking of you and with all my love, Dad

Finally I will praise the name of the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

We feel like we are living in a terrible nightmare, one that I wish we could wake up from. 

I look to God and He is giving us the strength to go on:
Ephesians 3:16
I pray that from His glorius, unlimited resources He will give you mighty inner strength through His Holy Spirit.

We LOVE YOU Austin